Five Things for Women to Do Post-Divorce

Bullseye (Laurie Snyder, ©1999-present).

Bullseye (Laurie Snyder, ©1999-present).

Almost everyone who has ever gone through it will tell you that the loss of a loved one can be hard on the body and the mind. Scientists have said for years, in fact, that it can be hazardous to one’s health.

According to a 2009 WebMD report, “Divorce and the death of a spouse frequently have long-term negative consequences for health, even in people who remarry.” De-partnered adults have a 20 percent higher risk for cancer, diabetes and heart disease and a 23 percent greater likelihood of problems walking or climbing stairs. While those rates decline after remarriage, they respectively remain 12 and 19 percent higher than in the non-divorced/non-widowed.

Often, this is because stressed-out individuals skimp on self-care – failing to exercise or eat properly and avoiding doctors’ visits.

So, what can be done if you’ve “consciously uncoupled” via divorce? Create a “new journey plan” using these tips:

Meditation Class (National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, public domain).

1. Engage in Constructive Self-Care.

Whether you fly solo for a trip to the beach or schedule a weekend getaway with your best gal pal, take time to rejuvenate. Celebrate your resilience and cleanse yourself of the stress you’ve endured by treating yourself to a well-deserved, but affordable massage at a hotel or spa.

 

Jell-O Ad, American Cookery, 1914 (public domain)2. Put Your Money House in Order.

Determine exactly how much money you have. Then, once those pesky brain cobwebs have been cleared away, take a finance class to learn what you need to do to nurture that nest egg.

 

Kandinsky's "A Riding Amazon," 1917 (public domain)3. Get “Back in the Saddle Again” Socially.

Channel your inner Georgia O’Keeffe via art class, learn Latin dancing, or join a book club or bowling league. From New Jersey Yoga for People Dealing with Divorce to Chicago’s 21st Century Salon for Single Boomerettes, there are literally hundreds of groups that can help you regain your confident, blissful stride.

Just be sure whatever programs you choose are priced to fit your post-divorce budget and offered by trustworthy service providers.

 

Old Appleton Sign (public domain).

4. Set and Maintain Clear Boundaries with Your Ex.

If you decide to remain friends, define the new parameters of your relationship before resuming interaction post-divorce; then adhere to those restrictions.

Because, while spending Valentine’s Day with him or opting for a “friends with benefits” hook-up may seem like a good idea when you’re lonesome, it only causes confusion for him – and frustration for you when his pressure to continue those visits derails your plan to find a more compatible new love.

 

No Valentine's Day (public domain)5. Preserve Your Alone Time for as Long as Possible.

Discomfort with loneliness is normal post-divorce, but if it drives you into remarrying too quickly, you’ll waste the precious opportunity you’ve been given to regain your sense of self.

Hope for new love, but learn to love the mindfulness kindled by solitude!

 

Image Sources: All images used for this article, EXCEPT BULLSEYE, are in the public domain: 1.) Massage class, National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health; 2.) Jell-O advertisement, American Cookery, 1914; 3.) A Riding Amazon, Wassily Kandinsky, 1917, National Art Museum of Azerbaijan; 4.) City sign, Old Appleton, Missouri; 5.) No Valentine’s Day.

 

 

 

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